A recent article notes that in the United States, there are 5.8 million children living with grandparents. In North Carolina, 178,000 children live with grandparents and 400 to 600 of those are in Burke County. A family mentor for Burke County Public schools says that grandparents are raising 438 students. Part of the mentor's job includes conducting parenting courses. She holds weekly sessions for grandparents who have custody of a child. The source explains that child custody issues can be extremely difficult for a grandparent.

One of the main struggles that grandparents with custody face is vast age differences. In some cases, the grandparent is 75 years old and the child is 5 years old. The grandparents in the group say that raising a grandchild is harder than raising their own children. They are learning that because they don't have parents to help raise the children, it is much harder. There is absolutely not assistance. Also, many grandparents are on fixed incomes, and they are spending their retirement money on childrearing costs.

Discipline is another sticky issue. In a "perfect family," the grandparent gets to spoil the child and spare the rod. In a situation where the grandparent has custody of his or her grandchildren, they do not get to spoil the kids.

Often, the real parents make promises to the children and do not keep them. The grandparents are the ones who have to comfort the children when Mom and Dad do not keep their promises. In many of these situations, the real parents are in jail or have a drug and/or alcohol problem.

North Carolina does not have many laws that support grandparents' rights. Furthermore, grandparents do not have the money to fight the courts for full custody of their grandchildren. For those that do, they are afraid of alienating their own children by trying to gain full child custody of their grandchildren.

Source: The News Herald, "Support group focuses on grandparents raising grandchildren," Cheryl Shuffler, Jan. 25, 2012